Damn. I had a dream about her again. A vivid intense lovely dream where she kissed me. This would be the woman I love. She doesn't speak to me. Whatever she's worried about is groundless, since I wouldn't talk about anything more consequential than the weather with her. She is a compulsive liar. That's too bad. In spite of it, I love her with all my heart and always will. (Trust her? heh ... )
If she reads this (which I doubt) she would tell me that I need to get over it. She doesn't realize that I have. I know what happened & the things she will never admit to me, and there's no reason to tell her so any more. I don't even want to try. Getting over it doesn't mean I have to hate her. I don't even hate her trashy liar friends, either. I wish them all well and hope they can understand the consequences of their actions some day.
So, my dear, you may or may not understand that yes I meant it when I said I will love you forever. It completely does not matter, because I know the truth in my heart whether or not you are able to. Over it? I'm as over it as I can ever be. Love, that intense, stomped on that brutally, will scar me forever, and I healed and became strong again and now go on to live my life with joy.
... but I wish she wasn't such a D*MN sexy kisser.
Saturday, August 07, 2004
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